Simply Christmas

It's a Wonderful Life. Sugar cookies. Christmas trees. Nativity scenes. Snow. The AFLBS Christmas concerts. Grandma's caramel popcorn. Advent wreaths. Fudge. Sparkling lights. Wrapping paper. Family. Christmas carols. 

When I think of Christmas, I think of such things. They're the things that come to mind that make me think, "It just wouldn't be Christmas without . . ." And yet, without these things, Christmas does indeed still happen.

While she blesses us with her delicious popcorn at Thanksgiving or perhaps every other year, Christmas has indeed happened without Grandma's homemade caramel popcorn. 

While we're beginning to start our own family Christmas traditions, Christmas has indeed happened without us traveling to visit our parents and siblings. 

While it was a tradition to watch It's a Wonderful Life growing up to the extent that it drove Dad nuts, Christmas has indeed happened without a viewing. 

We get so wrapped up in the "stuff" of Christmas, don't we? We get to the point where it doesn't seem like Christmas can happen without certain things . . . and yet, it does.

Because Christmas is simple. Profoundly humbling. Incredibly amazing. Beyond our comprehension. But simple.

Because Jesus did not come as He deserved. His birth was not announced to royalty nor was He born in a decent building. There were no trumpets, no parades, no national holiday beginning that day. There was no snow, no cookies to celebrate, and maybe even no singing.

"Christ Jesus . . . although He existed in the form of God, did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied Himself, taking the form of a bond-servant, and being made in the likeness of men. 

"Now in those days a decree went out from Caesar Augustus that a census be taken of all the inhabited earth. And everyone was on his way to register for the census, each to his own city. Joseph also went up from Galilee, from the city of Nazareth, to Judea, to the city of David which is called Bethlehem . . . in order to register along with Mary, who was engaged to him, and was with child. While they were there, they days were completed for her to give birth. And she gave birth to her firstborn son and she wrapped him in clothes and laid Him in a manger, because there was no room for them in the inn." - Philippians 2:5-7; Luke 2:1, 3-7 (NASB, emphasis mine)

As it began simple - amazing, and well-deserving of our awe, praise, respect, and recognition - may we keep it simple. May we keep it about the Savior. The One who came after being so-long awaited. The Messiah who came to save the world. The One whose love we cannot comprehend.

Thank You, Father, for Christmas.

-----

*This is the last blog to be written for this Grounded 3.17 blog, a ministry of the AFLC Youth Ministries. All of us, as authors, have been blessed and encouraged to be a part of this ministry. If this blog has impacted the life of just one, then our job has been complete. May the Lord bless each one of you as you continue to seek Him daily. 

Come, Expected One

Come, Thou long expected Jesus; Born to set Thy people free. 

From our fears and sins release us, Let us find our rest in Thee.

Israel's strength and consolation, hope of all the earth Thou art;

Dear desire of every nation, joy of every longing heart. 

Born Thy people to deliver, born a child and yet a King.

Born to reign in us forever, now Thy gracious kingdom bring.

By Thine own eternal Spirit rule in all our hearts alone; 

By Thine all sufficient merit, raise us to Thy glorious throne. 

My favorite part of the Christmas story isn't found in what we typically think of as "the Christmas story". My favorite part doesn't involve mangers, magi or Mary. It doesn't involve shepherds, angels, or inns. 

My favorite part of the Christmas story involves a priest, a prayer, and a promise: 

"In the days of Herod . . . there was a priest named Zacharias . . . and he had a wife from the daughters of Aaron, and her name was Elizabeth. They were both righteous in the sight of God, walking blamelessly in all the commandments and requirements of the Lord. But they had no child, because Elizabeth was barren and they were both advanced in years.  

Now it happened that while he was performing his priestly service before God in the appointed order of his division, according to the custom of the priestly office, he was chosen by lot to enter the temple of the Lord and burn incense. And the whole multitude of the people were in prayer outside at the hour of the incense offering. And an angel of the Lord appeared to him, standing to the right of the altar of incense. Zacharias was troubled when he saw the angel, and fear gripped him. But the angel said to him, 'Do not be afraid, Zacharias, for your petition has been heard, and your wife Elizabeth will bear you a son, and you will give him the name John. For you will have joy and gladness, and many will rejoice at his birth. For he will be great in the sight of the Lord . . . it is he who will go as a forerunner before Him in the spirit and power of Elijah . . . so as to make ready a people prepared for the Lord.'" - Luke 1:5017, NASB (emphasis mine) 

Zacharias' prayer in the temple was not, as we may believe based on how the text reads, a prayer for a son. He was not standing before the Lord on behalf of himself and Elizabeth, begging God to open her womb. Zacharias was standing before the Lord on behalf of the nation of Israel, begging God to send the Redeemer. His prayer was the priestly prayer for the redemption of Israel. 

So when Gabriel comes to him and says "Your prayer has been answered", Gabriel is saying, "The Lord God has heard your prayers and the prayers of others before you. He will send the Redeemer. The time has come. And you are going to play a part." 

Next to being Mary herself, I cannot think of anything more humbling, more awe-striking, more fear-inducing. 

From the beginning, from the fall of man, God has promised a Savior. A Redeemer. A Messiah. The prayers of the nation of Israel was, "Come!" The Lord heard those prayers. And He answered them. In His timing.

As we celebrate His coming, His humble birth and wondrous love, may we anxiously await His return. May the prayer of every believer's heart echo that of the Israelites, "Come!". The Lord will hear those prayers. And in His time, He will answer them.

Giving Good Gifts

Our son loves tractors. Well, to be honest, he loves trucks and cars and machines with a motor of any kind. But tractors are definitely on the top five list of coolest things he's ever seen. So the other day, when I was flipping through the Shopko ad and came to the "TOY SALE: Buy one Get one Half Off!" page, it was no surprise when Ezekiel instantly spotted the "green tractor!". There were many other toys sprawled across these two pages of magazine, but Zeke only had eyes for that tractor.

And to be honest, I really wanted to buy it for him. Because I know how much he loves tractors. And how that tractor (which was pulling a trailer!) would bring him joy. 

But I didn't. Because we have plenty of other tractors, trucks and cars in our house. Because I don't want our son to think that he can have everything he wants and/or sees. Because Christmas is a little over two weeks away and I am confident there are a couple of Grandma's who probably bought our little man some new trucks. So Zeke kept the magazine for a couple of days, looked at the tractor, and when we went to Shopko to get gifts for the Angel Tree, we made a mad dash through that toy aisle.

As I thought about this desire I had to buy Ezekiel that new tractor, I couldn't help but think of these words from Jesus:

"'Ask, and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened. Or what man is there among you who, when his son asks for a loaf, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, he will not give him a snake, will he? If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give what is good to those who ask Him?'" - Matthew 7:7-11, NASB (emphasis mine)

Our God is good. We need look no further than a manger in Bethlehem and a cross on Calvary and an empty tomb to remember that.

He knows our needs. He knows the desires of our heart. And He knows what is best for us. Just because He withholds does not mean He is absent, deaf, or unloving. Our Father is simply doing what is best for us.

Teaching us as we wait upon Him. Learning to be content with what we have. Leaning upon Him for strength. Looking to Him to provide grace for the moment. Trusting Him to meet our needs.

"Every good thing and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shifting shadow." - James 1:17, NASB (emphasis mine)

Grateful Before Its Gone

I don't know what it means, by actual definition, to "throw your back out". But I may have done that last Thursday afternoon. If it wasn't "thrown out", my lower back was definitely stretched and strained to the point of extreme pain in a way I hope to never endure again. The problem is, sometimes I forgot that I'm a) pregnant and therefore my body is already stretching and pulling in all sorts of different directions; and b) that even if I wasn't pregnant, it's never a good idea to hold a 24-pound weight on one side of your body while leaning down in the opposite direction to lift a nearly 10-pound purse. The result? I walked around with an ice pack stuck in my pants and could barely stand up straight due to the pain in my lower back.

I never really realized how vital the use of my back is to every day, ordinary actions. Like rolling over in bed. Like being able to sit on the floor and change my son's diaper. Like putting on a pair of pants.

After last week's incident, I realized how often I forget to be grateful.

And so often, I think we all forget. We get so used to what we have, with the people that we are blessed with in our lives, that we begin to take it all for granted. It seems like, more often than not, we become grateful for something only after it's gone.

As you celebrate Thanksgiving this week, I encourage you not to forget. To not just take a moment to thank the Lord for the "big" things, the "obvious" things, the "generalized" things. But take a moment to consider the little ones, the less-noticed blessings. For the fact that the furnace is working. For being able to roll over in bed without pain. For the blessing of hearing laughter. For fridges to store that abundance of leftovers in. For the inventor of disposable diapers. For soft toilet paper. For electric mattress pads.

And whatever you do, don't just be thankful on Thursday. On Friday, as you brave the Black Friday crowds or pull out your Christmas tree or simply enjoy the presence of family, remember to thank Him. Because all good things, all blessings, come from Him. And we have so many reasons to be thankful.

"Give thanks to the LORD, for He is good, for His lovingkindness is everlasting. Give thanks to the God of gods, for His lovingkindness is everlasting. Give thanks to the Lord of lords, for His lovingkindness is everlasting." - Psalm 136:1-3, NASB

Living in the Mundane

My days are fairly predictable. I can roughly tell you what time Zeke and I will be out for our morning walk and down for our afternoon nap. I usually do my grocery shopping on Mondays after lunch. I can tell you what days I typically do laundry. Day-to-day, my life tends to look extremely similar. Sure, there are days with a few surprises, like when my husband decides to be spontaneous and come home from work early. Or like last week when Zeke pooped out his diaper for the first time in months and I had to rinse his pants off in the toilet. Or when I'm able to grab coffee with a dear friend back for a short visit.

Yesterday, though, I broke the mold. I skipped my morning walk, left the men at home and headed to Bismarck to run a few errands. (I know, I know: real exciting. But hey, I live in western North Dakota; cut me some slack.) As I was driving across the familiar 79-mile stretch of farmland, I did something I rarely do: I listened to the radio. Family Life Today was on, and my apologies to the name of their guest whose name is lost on my mind somewhere on I-94. And actually, apologies to Family Life Today as I hardly even recall what the broadcast topic was about. Something about loving your spouse. I forget because of something that forgotten guest said that rang over and over and over in my mind:

"We only make three or four big decisions in life. But we live in the every day, in the mundane."

It's so easy to seek Christ in the big decisions, the big issues. Where we should go to college. Who (or if) we should get married. To take that job far from family or stay closer to home.

But what about the every day? The ordinary, mundane things? Jesus doesn't want just a part of the "big" things in life - He wants the little ones too.

Not that I need to pray about switching my laundry day. Or that there is anything wrong with a fairly predictable routine. But in those every day, mundane, day-to-day tasks, who am I living for? Am I living selfishly, putting my desires over those of my families? Do I have eyes of compassion for the hurting around me, or am I to focused on me to notice them? Am I content with what I have, with who the Lord has made me to be, or am I envious of that other mom who seems to have it made?

"For you were called to freedom, brethren; only do not turn your freedom into an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another. Now those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. If we live by the Spirit, let us also walk by the Spirit. Let us not become boastful, challenging one another, envying one another." - Galatians 5:13, 24-26, NASB (emphasis mine)

It is in the mundane moments that I choose to put Jordan's needs over my own. It is the every day moments that become Kingdom teaching moments for little Ezekiel. It is in the ordinary moments that I live for the Extraordinary One.

"For the love of Christ controls us, having concluded this, that one died for all, therefore all died; and He died for all, so that they who live might no longer live for themselves, but for Him who died and rose again on their behalf." - 2 Corinthians 5:14-15, NASB (emphasis mine)

No matter how ordinary, how everyday, how mundane our daily tasks may seem to be, may we ever be guilty of living for Jesus.

What a Difference the Son Makes

Today was the coldest day we've seen yet in Beulah this fall. When Jordan, Ezekiel and I set out for our morning walk it was a chilly 10 degrees. Some may call us crazy, stubborn, or dedicated - but I absolutely love that four-mile morning walk. Sometimes I'd even say I need that walk. And ya know what? 10 degrees today didn't actually feel that bad. The sun was shining, the sky was clear, and the wind was virtually non-existent.

It's amazing what a difference the sun makes.

If today had been cloudy, the sun hidden, and the wind howling - it would have been a miserable 10 degrees. And I can pretty much guarantee you, that for the sake of my 18-month old bundled in the stroller, I probably wouldn't have gone the entire four miles.

It's amazing what a difference the sun makes.

And what a difference the Son makes. 

I love that, even though, as believers, our lives aren't all sunshine and daisies and summer days, the Son is still there.

I love that, although Jesus promised that we would have trouble in this world, the Son Himself has overcome the world.

I love that, no matter the howling wind and bitter storms going on in life, the Son is always present.

He may seem absent. He may seem hidden. He may seem like He'll never be seen again.

But He isn't. 

"Thus says the LORD, your Creator, O Jacob, and He who formed you, O Israel,
'Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name; you are Mine! When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they will not overflow you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be scorched, nor will the flame burn you. For I am the Lord your God, the Holy One of Israel, you Savior . . .'" - Isaiah 43:1-3, NASB (emphasis mine)

What hope we have as believers! Though the trials, the pain, the suffering, the heartache come - we do not experience them alone. We do not fight alone. We do not weep alone.

What a difference the Son makes.

Because of Him, we're Debt Free

I'm going to brag on my husband a little bit. Because I know he won't. Last week, Jordan submitted our last mortgage payment. We are now complete owners of our little home! And it only took him a little over five years to pay it all off.

Even though this is a pretty exciting - and big - deal, when I asked Jordan how he felt about being debt free, he just shrugged and said it didn't feel much different. Maybe it's because we didn't call Dave Ramsey and shout "We're debt free!" over the air waves. Or because, as of yet, we haven't gotten a certificate from the bank congratulating us on not owing them any more money. Whatever the case may be, Jordan's been rather quiet sharing the news - even with his family.

And as I thought about this on the way home from a couple hours' work this afternoon, I couldn't help but think how quiet I am about being debt-free. Not about being mortgage-payment debt free - I think I've told more people than Jordan has. But about being sin-payment debt free.

"When you were dead in your transgressions and the uncircumcision of your flesh, He made you alive together with Him, having forgiven us all our transgressions, having cancelled out the certificate of debt consisting of decrees against us, which was hostile to us; and He has taken it out of the way, having nailed it to the cross." - Colossians 2:13-14, NASB (emphasis mine)

As believers, we have been forgiven the ultimate debt. Our sins has been totally and completely wiped clean. Gone. Remembered no more. And yet, sometimes - often times - we're quiet about it.

Our lives, our eternal future, has been ultimately changed and we don't tell a soul. 

Why?

I could list a whole bunch of "maybe's" here, but I won't. Because excuses are lousy. They temporarily justify but don't cause change or warrant any action on our part.

And to be honest, there is no excuse for our lack in sharing the greatest news ever told. 

So let's change that. Let's start sharing the incredible news of God's forgiveness. That God so loved the world He sent Jesus to die in our place on our behalf. That although we will still have trouble in this world, we can cling to the One who has overcome the world.

That because of Him, not because of anything we have done or earned, we are debt-free.

Three Months Ago, Round 2

Three months ago, my mom had her first total knee replacement surgery. Three months ago, my sister-in-law had emergency surgery for a burst Meckle's Diverticulum.

Last week, my mom had her second total knee replacement surgery. Last week, I received a text from my brother that said, "Round 2"; my sister-in-law was having another CT scan for pain in the area of her previous surgery. Today she had surgery to remove a dermoid cyst on her ovary.

Given - one of these surgeries was planned. Both times. But in all honesty, when I got that text from my brother last Friday, I couldn't help but think, "Really? What next?" My heart was heavy and I (the one not having surgery) was tired of the unexpected.

But in the midst of my down-heartedness, I was reminded to remember. To remember the Lord's faithfulness in the past. How, three months ago, He had taken care of my mom in that planned surgery. How her recovery went well. How grateful she is for that new knee.

I was reminded to remember how, three months ago, He had taken care of my brother and his wife in that unplanned surgery. How He was with them in the midst of the fear and uncertainty. How He provided for their every need.

There's a verse from the Psalms that encourages me to remember these things -

"Trust in the LORD and do good; dwell in the land and cultivate faithfulness." - Psalm 37:3, NASB

But my favorite part? A footnote that says this verse could read -

"feed on His faithfulness" 

Our God is always faithful. Sometimes, in the midst of pain, in the midst of uncertainty, in the midst of fear, it's easy to forget. But He is indeed faithful. We simply need to look back and remember how He has proved that faithfulness in the past. How He has been present. How He has provided. How He has never left.

Not-So-Pointless Construction Cones

Ever since I started making the trek from Fargo to Sioux Falls on I-29 back in 2008, there has been construction on at least one section of that barren interstate. It never fails. But, I comforted myself this past weekend, at least I can tell that work is being done. That something is being accomplished. Sometimes, on I-94 from Beulah to Fargo, there are construction cones pushing the two-lane interstate down into one lane. For no reason. There are no work trucks or crews. No big holes in the road. No work being done. And to be honest, those mere mile-long stretches bother me more than the twenty-mile stretches where it's obvious work is being done.

A lot of times, I wonder the same thing spiritually as well. Because I can't always see what God is doing, why He allows certain things to happen, what work He is doing in my heart.

I've been thinking a lot about this lately. Why, for example, would Jordan and I feel so strongly led to international adoption, only to have us find out we were expecting our own child? And then, when opportunity came around for us to apply for adoption, why were there so many red flags and we felt led away from international adoption? Or why would I sense the Lord so strongly telling me to be involved in a certain ministry, and then mere months later feel lead out of it?

Sometimes, it just doesn't make sense, does it?

I've been pondering these things for months. Almost a year, actually. And then, this last weekend, as I lay in my old bed at my parents house in Sioux Falls, I thought of Abraham. How he not only felt strongly about wanting a child, but he was promised a child by the Lord. And when that child came, what did the Lord require of him? To sacrifice his son.

"Now it came about after these things that God tested Abraham, and said to him . . . 'Take now your son, your only son, whom you love, Isaac, and go to the land of Moriah, and offer him there as a burnt offering on one of the mountains of which I will tell you.' So Abraham arose early in the morning and saddled his donkey, and took two of his young men with him and Isaac his son; and he split wood for the burnt offering, and arose and went to the place of which God had told him. Then they came to the place . . . and Abraham build the altar there and arranged the wood, and bound his son Isaac and laid him on the altar, on top of the wood. Abraham stretched out his hand and took the knife to slay his son. But the angel of the LORD called to him from heaven . . . 'Do not stretch out your hand against the lad, and do nothing to him; for now I know that you fear God, since you have not withheld your son, your only son, from Me.'" - Genesis 22:1-3; 9-12, NASB (emphasis mine)

Just as the Lord was testing Abraham and his trust in His God, perhaps the Lord is testing me. Trying to see where my heart lies with Him. To see if I truly trust Him to provide. To see if I am willing to serve. To see if I am faithful to Him even when I feel like what He wants doesn't make sense.

I honestly don't know what will happen with adoption in our lives. Or how my involvement in ministry will look next year at this time. But I guess I'd better be faithful now. Willing. Trusting. Serving.

Because I don't know what He has in store. Maybe His construction cones make sense in the grand scheme of things after all.

Precious Life . . . From the Start

One of the scariest moments of my life happened when I was pregnant with Ezekiel. I was about 11, 12 weeks along. We had just released the news of our coming little one to family and friends. Although initially scared and shocked, I was excited and already in love with that little baby. One morning, I had a tiny bit of spotting. It wasn't much and I almost didn't even call the doctor about it. But the doctor was unable to find baby's heartbeat, which heightened concern because just one week prior she could find it. I was petrified. The drive to the hospital in Hazen was the longest seven-mile drive of my life. Praise the Lord that the ultrasound revealed a kicking, squirming, heart-beating baby.

But I know that many are not so fortunate. I know many who have dealt with the pain of miscarriage. 

I remember telling my mom after the scare with Zeke, "I know he's only 12 weeks old, but it was still really scary."
To which she replied, "Of course you were! That is three months of falling in love with that little baby."

12 weeks. Three months. About the size of a plum. But still loved. Still valuable. Still a child. Because life begins at conception.

"You formed my inward parts; you wove me in my mother's womb . . . I am fearfully and wonderfully made; wonderful are Your works . . . My frame was not hidden from you, when I was made in secret and skillfully wrought in the depths of the earth; Your eyes have seen my unformed substance; and in Your book were all written the days that were ordained for me, when as yet there was none of them." - Psalm 139:13-16; NASB

Tomorrow is National Infant Loss and Remembrance Day. A difficult, important day for those who have lost babies, whether through miscarriage, a stillborn birth or other tragedy. Because life does indeed begin at conception. And no matter the size of the child, loss is hard.

To my friends who have lost those little ones, my heart goes out to you. Not just tomorrow, but when you hear news of others' pregnancies. When your baby's due date rolls around. When you see the joyous smiles of other little ones.

And my prayers are with you. You have dealt with a pain I cannot imagine nor fathom. My prayer is that you will cling to the One who knows your heartache and pain. That you will find strength for each moment in every day in Him. That in the midst of the pain, you are able to remember His great lovingkindess.

"Remember my affliction and my wandering, the wormwood and bitterness. Surely my soul remembers and is bowed down within me. This I recall to mind, therefore I have hope. The LORD's lovingkindnesses indeed never cease, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness. 'The LORD is my portion,' says my soul, 'Therefore I have hope in Him." . . . If He causes grief, then He will have compassion according to His abundant lovingkindness." - Lamentations 3:19-24, 32; NASB (emphasis mine)

The Idol of Self in our All-Natural World

There have been quite a few health-related articles showing up on my facebook home page these days. Articles about how bad Subway is for you. Articles about the vaccination debate. Articles about how drinking Coke is one of the worst possible things you could do to your body. And to be honest? I'm quite tired of reading such articles.

While I have definite opinions about Subway, vaccinations and enjoying a Coke, this blog isn't the place to share such beliefs. But what I will share is this:

I'm worried that we've taken this whole healthy, natural living thing too far. 

Don't get me wrong: I'm all for eating healthy. Choosing fruits and veggies over Doritos and french fries. For substituting milk or water for pop. For exercising and taking care of our bodies. And if you're one of those who soaks your own grains, buys all organic and butchers your own cow: more power to ya. I wish I had your time, energy, and resources.

What worries me is, that in some ways, I think we've made idols of ourselves. Of our bodies. That we put more importance on what we put into our mouths and into our stomachs than on the One who knit our bodies together (Psalm 139:13-14, Matthew 15:10-11). That we're so concerned with making a better, longer life for ourselves that we forget the One who has our days written in His book (Psalm 139:16). That in the back of our minds, we think we can control outcomes and situations that are completely in His hands (Matthew 10:29-31).

Consider this:

• Do we spend more time researching vaccinations and all-natural options than we do in the Word?
• Do we spend more time arguing about the vaccination debate with others than we do sharing the Gospel with the lost?
• Do we spend more time cooking healthy, natural dinners for our families than we do in service to those who are hungry? Both at home and abroad?

I'm not trying to say there's a right and a wrong. I'm just wondering where our hearts are in all of this. And that my friend, is between you and God alone. May our hearts always seek Him first in everything we do.

"'I am the LORD your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of slavery. You shall have no other gods before Me. You shall not make for yourself an idol, or any likeness of what is in heaven above or on earth beneath or in the water under the earth. You shall not worship them nor serve them; for I, the LORD your God, am jealous God . . .'" - Exodus 20:1-5, NASB (emphasis mine)

Every Story

I was sitting in a rocking chair the other day, drinking tea, and listening to music, when my eyes landed on the tagline of the Jesus Storybook Bible. 

"Every Story Whispers His Name"

It made me stop and think. How does my story whisper His name? 

What about your story? 

How does your life point to God? He's involved in your story, your life... Do you realize it? Do you see the thread of His grace woven through your life? 

Sometimes, because of my busyness, or my lack of focus, I forget, that even my story whispers God's name. Because He is the Author of this life I'm living...His name is whispered.

Disconnected from the Vine

Can I be honest with you? I am completely exhausted. Our little boy had one of the worst nights of his healthy life last night. I have three piles of (unfolded) clothes and towels on the couch. There's probably at least two, if not three, more loads I should get done in the next couple of days. I feel in over my head serving on the MOPS leadership team. Did I mention I'm just plain sleep-deprived? So all of this seems so much worse than it actually is?

I'll also admit that, the past week and a half, I've neglected time in the Word. So my relationship with the Lord has been rather distant. And my heart hasn't been in the right place as a believer's should be. I've been selfish with my time. Jealous of my husband's time which has been so busy with ministry-related events. Not wanting to do anything for the sake of the Gospel.

But the other night, in exhaustion, I finally picked up my Bible. I randomly flipped open to a passage in Jeremiah. Interestingly, whenever I've just "randomly flipped" open my Bible the past couple of weeks, it's always landed on this passage. I never read it until last night, though.

"Thus says the LORD, 'Cursed is the man who trusts in mankind and makes flesh his strength, and whose heart turns away from the LORD. For he will be like a bush in the desert and will not see when prosperity comes, but will live in stony wastes in the wilderness, a land of salt without inhabitant.  

Blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD. For he will be like a tree planted by the water, that extends its roots by a stream and will not fear when the heat comes; but its leaves will be green, and it will not be anxious in a year of drought nor cease to yield fruit.'" - Jeremiah 17:5-8, NASB (emphasis mine)

I was struck by this passage for a number of reasons:

The reminder not to trust in my own strength to accomplish things, to not put my trust and hope in other people but in God alone.

The truth that, as a believer, heat and drought will come. Difficult times, difficult seasons where I always feel tired simply because I am a mom of a one year old. Times when I feel like I have nothing to give and frankly don't even want to replenish that supply.

Yet, in those difficult times, those difficult seasons -- I should be growing. I should be bearing fruit.

Not because it saves me. But because it's a testament to the One who is my Strength. Who is my Supply. Who is the Giver of Life.

"'Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself unless it abides in the vine, so neither can you unless you abide in Me. I am the vine, you are the branches; he who abides in Me and I in him, he bears much fruit, for apart from Me you can do nothing.'" - Jesus, John 15:4-5, NASB (emphasis mine)

So what should the exhausted, fearful me do? Get some sleep. And never, ever pull away from the Vine.

Wasps and the Love of God

I know there's going to be many who don't like me for saying this, but truth is: I'm ready for a good, hard freeze.

It could have something to do with the fact that I have tomatoes coming out of my fingernails and toenails, and if it freezes, well, I guess we'll just have to be satisfied with the 30+ pints of salsa and 10+ pints of pizza sauce already made. It could have something to do with the near 100 degree heat last Friday and me feeling tired of feeling hot. Mostly, though, it has to do with bees and wasps and flies: it can freeze so they all die. (Harsh, I know.) But  one of my biggest summertime nightmares as a momma came true on Sunday: Ezekiel was stung by a wasp. Right on his temple.

Poor little guy.

I'm grateful that since it happened, it happened at a time when Jordan was home. While Zeke cried in pain and I cried because my baby was in pain, Jordan was the logical, level-headed one. And thankfully, nothing more happened to Zeke: no allergic reaction and within fifteen minutes he had stopped crying and began playing with his trucks like nothing had even happened.

All the while, I kept wishing that the stupid wasp had stung me instead. I would have gladly taken away that pain from my little sixteen-month old.

And then I started thinking about God the Father, His Son Jesus Christ, and the pain bestowed upon Him on my behalf. 

God the Father allowed His Son to be beaten. To be humiliated. To be become sin. To die.

Because He loves me. 

What kind of love is that? 

"'For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life.'" - John 3:16, NASB (emphasis mine)

"He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him over for us all . . . " - Romans 8:32, NASB (emphasis mine)

"But when the fullness of time came, God sent forth His Son, born of a woman, born under the Law, so that He might redeem those who were under the Law, that we might receive the adoption as sons." - Galatians 4:4-5, NASB (emphasis mine)

I'm grateful God loves us the way He does. Not the way I love. Because I would have protected my son. I wouldn't want to see him suffer. Praise God He loved us enough to let His Son suffer in our place so that we have a home with Him.

Into the Air Conditioning

It's been really hot out lately. Really hot. But I probably don't need to tell you that. Despite the heat, my little man and I still spend much of our day outdoors: going on our morning walk, Zeke pushing his little umbrella stroller up and down the driveway, digging in the dirt, playing in little backyard pool, going to the park, visiting the neighbor's dog. When I'm in the heat, there are moments when I realize how incredibly warm it is outside; but a lot of the time, I get used to the heat. Until we come inside. And that initial, wonderful sensation of air conditioning reminds me of just how warm I am.

Last week, I wrote about how I felt like I was in this spiritual rut. It's like being outside when it's hot: there are moments when I realize just how stuck I am; but a lot of the time, it's easy to get used to being in that rut.

And this week, I've stepped into the air conditioning. 

I've been refreshed as I have slowly read through barely a chapter in Luke a day. Some mornings I've only gotten a handful of verses read before the little man is up and it's time to cuddle while reading books for 30 minutes. Other mornings, I've gotten an entire chapter read - but not just read, I've actually let the Word sink into my heart, let Him work. And it has been a blessing.

I can't tell you anything earth-shattering that I've read. I can't tell you that I've had any "I-never-realized-this-before" moments. I can't tell you that reading through the book of Luke now is like reading it through for the first time.

But I have been reminded. 

Reminded of what Jesus expects of His followers (Luke 6:32-35). Reminded that Jesus desires me to hear and to do (Luke 6:46,8:21). Reminded that Jesus doesn't always send us far away to tell others about the wonderful things that He has done for us (Luke 8:39).

And being reminded? It's good. I need reminders. Lots of reminders.

So next time I'm out in the heat, when I'm stuck in the rut - because, unfortunately, these air-conditioned, refreshing times never last forever - I'm going to remember to step out of the heat. Slow down a little bit. Get an extra nap. Sit down with the Word. Pray for the revived heart.

And always, always always cling to Him. Because He never changes. 

Mowers, Ruts and Revival

Our 15-month son Ezekiel loves lawn mowers. Actually, he loves anything with a motor. Trucks, boats, cars, snow-blowers (even though he hasn't seen it in action yet), buses, motorcycles. But it's like he has a sixth sense in regards to mowers. He'll hear a mower blocks away when I wouldn't have even noticed it without him pointing it out. He sees mowers hidden in garages, behind bushes, and on the back of trailers out on our walks. And every time he sees one - "Mow! Mow! Mow!"

It's cute. I love it and I love him.

Zeke's love for mowers, his excitement at seeing them time after time, his ability to pick out the sound of a lawnmower from all the noises happening outside -- its made me think. Its made me think about my love for the Lord. For my excitement at hearing His Word, time after time. About my ability to pick out the voice of the Lord despite all the other noises and business going on about me.

Sometimes, I get in a spiritual rut. Scripture honestly doesn't excite me. Or I feel like I've heard it all before. Somehow, along the way, the wonderful gift of salvation, of God's mercy and grace, of His incredible love, of His righteousness bestowed upon me - became so . . . normal.

And hearing His voice? Sometimes I hardly feel like I have time to hear myself think. Or I wake up slightly early with good intentions to spend time in the Word with the Lord -- and Zeke decides it's a good day to wake up slightly early too.

But I don't like this rut. 

So what do I do?

Maybe my time in the Word with the Lord needs to happen after Zeke is in bed for the evening. Maybe I need to start doing things that actually challenge my faith; that put it into action; things that make me uncomfortable and give Him the glory. Maybe I have my own "church service" during nap time or in those quiet hours of the evening with my husband before we go to bed since Sunday mornings I am so distracted.

Maybe -- actually, really -- I need to pray for a revived heart. A heart that yearns to grow. A heart that yearns to love. A heart that hears the Word and is changed. A heart that rejoices with the truth no matter how often I've heard it.

"Your words were found and I ate them, and Your words became for me a joy and the delight of my heart; for I have been called by Your name, O LORD God of hosts." - Jeremiah 15:16, NASB (emphasis mine)

May this be the genuine prayer of my heart and desire of my soul.

Don't Just Hear. Hear and Do.

I'm not gonna lie: my husband and I have a pretty cute kid. (What parent doesn't say that about their kid?) Unfortunately, though, like all cute kids, our little man doesn't always do as he's told. (What kid doesn't do that to their parents?) But it brings my heart joy when he listens. When he hears me say, "No Zeke; please don't throw your fork on the floor," and he doesn't throw his fork onto the floor's collection of dropped cheerios and cheese. When he hears me say, "Zeke, can you put your toy in the basket for Mommy?" and he adds that toy to the mound of trucks already in the basket. I can honestly say that such simple things make me smile.

And ya know, I can't help but think it's the same way for the Lord. After all, we are His children and He has given us His Word. But He doesn't want us to just listen. To just underline the parts in our Bibles that sound good, to nod our head in agreement at the things we like, or simply feel inspired, encouraged, or hopeful. He wants us to do.

"But prove yourselves to be doers of the Word, and not merely hearers who delude themselves." - James 1:22, NASB (emphasis mine) 

So when the Lord, through His Word, tells me to "open [my] mouth for the mute, for the rights of all the unfortunate" (Proverbs 31:8), then I need to not be silent in a culture that kills more than 3000 children every day. And "doing" involves more than bringing such a sad fact to light on a blog.

When then Lord, through His Word, tells me to "let no unwholesome word proceed from [my] mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment" (Ephesians 4:29), then I better clamp my mouth shut when gossip wants to spew forth. Even if it is gossip in the form of a "prayer request".

When the Lord, through His Word, tells me to "'Love one another, just as [Jesus] has loved [me]" (John 15:12), then I better start showing love to my husband and son by sacrificing what I want. I better get out of my comfortable daily routine and reach out to that new mom, or to that one who's lived down the street for well over a year.

There's no end to the list. Practicing hospitality (Romans 12:13). Not worrying about tomorrow (Matthew 6:34). Making disciples (Matthew 28:28).

But here's something important - so don't bypass this or stop reading now: 

I don't do to earn His love. I don't do to earn a ticket to heaven. I don't do to be "good enough" or "better than".

I do because I love Him. Because doing brings Him joy. Doing points others to Him. 

 "For by grace you have been saved through faith; and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God; not as a result of works, so that no one may boast. For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand so that we would walk in them." - Ephesians 2:8-10, NASB (emphasis mine)

I Wasn't Expecting That

There's been an unusual amount of surprises in my life lately. Some of them have been wonderful - like the surprise of seeing my big brother's car roll into our driveway after I hadn't been expecting to see him for another month. But most of them have been not-so-great. Like hearing that my brother-in-law end up receiving twenty-six stitches and surgery after a collision with a glass patio door. Or like learning my sister-in-law ended up in the hospital with a ruptured Meckel's Diverticulum. (Triple surprise. Who even knows what that is, let alone has one, let alone a ruptured one?) To be honest, sometimes surprises aren't fun. In fact, they can be scary.

In the midst of the fear, of the unknown, of the surprise, I've been reminding myself that the Lord wasn't surprised. He never is. From eternity past, He has known the future: He has known exactly what was going to take place in my life on this day. He knows what is going to take place tomorrow. There is nothing, nothing, nothing that will take my God by surprise.

"In Your book were all written the days that were ordained for me, when as yet there was not one of them." - Psalm 139:16, NASB

Although I may be shocked, the Lord is not. Maybe He's simply shocking me back into His arms. To find strength in Him. To rest in Him. To trust in Him.

"'Do not fear, for I am with you; do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.'" - Isaiah 41:10, NASB

After the Whirlwind

I might as well come right out and admit it: I am feeling sorry for myself. Because for the first time since 2001, I am not attending the FLY (Free Lutheran Youth) Convention. Six times I've gone; three as a student, three as a counselor. A majority of my family is in Estes Park, Colorado. Many of my close friends are there. People I haven't seen in years, don't keep in good contact with, but still consider dear to my heart - they are there too. But I stayed home. Back in February, when Jordan and I were praying about Zeke and I attending, we felt a peace about staying home. All I'd like to know now is: what happened to that peace?

Maybe it has something to do with the fact that for the past three weeks, I've been surrounded by people. Family reunions and wedding activities for two weeks in Minneapolis; then nearly four days of family visiting us here in Beulah. And now, it's just me and Zeke. Don't get me wrong, I love my son. But after so much activity, after that whirlwind of three weeks, it's pretty quiet around here.

So in the midst of my moping, I'm reminding both my heart and my head that the Lord knows what I don't know. Maybe He wanted us home because of that suspiciously snotty, sometimes congested nose of Ezekiel's that hasn't gotten worse but hasn't gone away. Maybe He wanted us home because He knew those two weeks away really would be enough for us, despite the fact that I currently feel like we could be gone another two. Maybe He wanted me to stay home to remind me that I don't always have to be in the midst of the "action", of the exciting things. To remind me that there is ministry to be done right here at home in Beulah. To show me the importance of and power of prayer for a gathering that is 670 miles away.

"Devote yourselves to prayer; keeping alert in it with an attitude of thanksgiving; praying at the same time for us as well, that God will open a door for the word, so that we may speak forth the mystery of Christ . . . Conduct yourselves with wisdom towards outsiders, making the most of the opportunity. Let your speech always be with grace, as though seasoned with salt . . . 'Take heed to the ministry which you have received in the Lord, that you may fulfill it.'" - Colossians 4:2-3, 5-6, 17; NASB (emphasis mine)

Unfortunately, it's always one thing to know truth and entirely different thing to believe truth. That's what I'm working on right now. Who knows, maybe it'll take all week for that to take place. But I've simply got to trust that God's thoughts and plans are better than my own (Isaiah 55:8-9).

And I better be faithful with the time He has given me in the place He has led me.

In the Midst of the Whirlwind

2200 miles. Fourteen days. Thirteen nights. One Annual Conference. Two family reunions. One of my best friend's (aka brother's) wedding. It was a crazy - but blessed - two weeks. We stayed in the same location no more than four days before traveling to a new one. We went from North Dakota to Minnesota to Wisconsin and to Minnesota to Wisconsin and back to North Dakota. We saw extended family on both sides. I played ultimate frisbee for the first time in probably four years and felt the effects for days. I cried as I saw the love in my brother's eyes for his beautiful bride. My son touched his grandpa's bald head for the first time and increased his fascination with mowers.

It's been a crazy whirlwind of two weeks for this Langness family.

And now we're home. I'm on my third load of laundry since yesterday evening with hopefully only one more to go. I've got a front flower bed that needs weeding. Somewhere in my vegetable garden are watermelons; I just can't tell because of the plethora of weeds in that corner. I've got groceries to get and a few errands to run. The in-laws are coming on Thursday. Zeke has a doctor's appointment in Bismarck on Thursday morning. We've got a wedding reception on Saturday evening. Jordan leaves for the FLY convention on Sunday. And then there's the every day stuff of simply enjoying life with my toddler and husband, making sure that toddler doesn't dive headfirst into his new pool, cooking, washing dishes, cleaning the bathrooms, and all the other joys of routine life.

Coming home has been a whirlwind too.

As I was making a to-do list last night, I felt overwhelmed with all that I needed to do, that I should get done in just a few short days. But this morning I was given a gift. The gift of sleeping in for all three of us -- including my ever-active one-year-old. Because of that, I was given much needed rest and time. Time in the Word. Time with my Lord. Time to simply stop, sip my coffee, read the Word and be refreshed.

During that time, I was reminded of the importance of stopping. Of resting. Of putting to the to-do list literally out of sight and praying that it will be out of mind as I spend time with my Savior. And I was also struck by how Jesus Himself took that time to be with His Abba - even in the midst of a larger to-do list than mine.

"And immediately after they came out of the synagogue, they came into the house of Simon and Andrew, with James and John. Now Simon's mother-in-law was lying sick with a fever; and immediately they spoke to Jesus about her. And He came to her and raised her up, taking her by the hand, and the fever left her, and she waited on them.  

When evening came, after the sun had set, they began bringing to him all who were ill and those who were demon-possessed. And the whole city had gathered at the door. And He healed many who were ill with various diseases, and cast out many demons; and He was not permitting the demons to speak, because they knew who He was. In the early morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house, and went away to a secluded place, and was praying there. Simon and his companions searched for Him; the found Him and said to Him, 'Everyone is looking for you.' He said to them, 'Let us go somewhere else to the towns nearby, so that I may preach there also; for that is what I came for.' And He went into their synagogues throughout all Galilee, preaching and casting out demons. 

And a leper came to Jesus . . . " - Mark 1:29-40a, NASB, emphasis mine

The work - the to-do list - never ended for Jesus. Always He was needed. Always He was wanted. And yet He never complained. He served and loved because that is what He came to do. He spent time with His Father -- setting an example for us to follow in.

I only wish setting aside the long lists and being able to truly focus on the Word and on Christ was as easy everyday as it was today. But I guess that's what this whole learning to "set your minds" (Colossians 3:2) is all about.