After the Whirlwind

I might as well come right out and admit it: I am feeling sorry for myself. Because for the first time since 2001, I am not attending the FLY (Free Lutheran Youth) Convention. Six times I've gone; three as a student, three as a counselor. A majority of my family is in Estes Park, Colorado. Many of my close friends are there. People I haven't seen in years, don't keep in good contact with, but still consider dear to my heart - they are there too. But I stayed home. Back in February, when Jordan and I were praying about Zeke and I attending, we felt a peace about staying home. All I'd like to know now is: what happened to that peace?

Maybe it has something to do with the fact that for the past three weeks, I've been surrounded by people. Family reunions and wedding activities for two weeks in Minneapolis; then nearly four days of family visiting us here in Beulah. And now, it's just me and Zeke. Don't get me wrong, I love my son. But after so much activity, after that whirlwind of three weeks, it's pretty quiet around here.

So in the midst of my moping, I'm reminding both my heart and my head that the Lord knows what I don't know. Maybe He wanted us home because of that suspiciously snotty, sometimes congested nose of Ezekiel's that hasn't gotten worse but hasn't gone away. Maybe He wanted us home because He knew those two weeks away really would be enough for us, despite the fact that I currently feel like we could be gone another two. Maybe He wanted me to stay home to remind me that I don't always have to be in the midst of the "action", of the exciting things. To remind me that there is ministry to be done right here at home in Beulah. To show me the importance of and power of prayer for a gathering that is 670 miles away.

"Devote yourselves to prayer; keeping alert in it with an attitude of thanksgiving; praying at the same time for us as well, that God will open a door for the word, so that we may speak forth the mystery of Christ . . . Conduct yourselves with wisdom towards outsiders, making the most of the opportunity. Let your speech always be with grace, as though seasoned with salt . . . 'Take heed to the ministry which you have received in the Lord, that you may fulfill it.'" - Colossians 4:2-3, 5-6, 17; NASB (emphasis mine)

Unfortunately, it's always one thing to know truth and entirely different thing to believe truth. That's what I'm working on right now. Who knows, maybe it'll take all week for that to take place. But I've simply got to trust that God's thoughts and plans are better than my own (Isaiah 55:8-9).

And I better be faithful with the time He has given me in the place He has led me.