Disconnected from the Vine

Can I be honest with you? I am completely exhausted. Our little boy had one of the worst nights of his healthy life last night. I have three piles of (unfolded) clothes and towels on the couch. There's probably at least two, if not three, more loads I should get done in the next couple of days. I feel in over my head serving on the MOPS leadership team. Did I mention I'm just plain sleep-deprived? So all of this seems so much worse than it actually is?

I'll also admit that, the past week and a half, I've neglected time in the Word. So my relationship with the Lord has been rather distant. And my heart hasn't been in the right place as a believer's should be. I've been selfish with my time. Jealous of my husband's time which has been so busy with ministry-related events. Not wanting to do anything for the sake of the Gospel.

But the other night, in exhaustion, I finally picked up my Bible. I randomly flipped open to a passage in Jeremiah. Interestingly, whenever I've just "randomly flipped" open my Bible the past couple of weeks, it's always landed on this passage. I never read it until last night, though.

"Thus says the LORD, 'Cursed is the man who trusts in mankind and makes flesh his strength, and whose heart turns away from the LORD. For he will be like a bush in the desert and will not see when prosperity comes, but will live in stony wastes in the wilderness, a land of salt without inhabitant.  

Blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD. For he will be like a tree planted by the water, that extends its roots by a stream and will not fear when the heat comes; but its leaves will be green, and it will not be anxious in a year of drought nor cease to yield fruit.'" - Jeremiah 17:5-8, NASB (emphasis mine)

I was struck by this passage for a number of reasons:

The reminder not to trust in my own strength to accomplish things, to not put my trust and hope in other people but in God alone.

The truth that, as a believer, heat and drought will come. Difficult times, difficult seasons where I always feel tired simply because I am a mom of a one year old. Times when I feel like I have nothing to give and frankly don't even want to replenish that supply.

Yet, in those difficult times, those difficult seasons -- I should be growing. I should be bearing fruit.

Not because it saves me. But because it's a testament to the One who is my Strength. Who is my Supply. Who is the Giver of Life.

"'Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself unless it abides in the vine, so neither can you unless you abide in Me. I am the vine, you are the branches; he who abides in Me and I in him, he bears much fruit, for apart from Me you can do nothing.'" - Jesus, John 15:4-5, NASB (emphasis mine)

So what should the exhausted, fearful me do? Get some sleep. And never, ever pull away from the Vine.