Transparency

You know how your mouth feels when you’re parched? That dry, cotton-mouth feeling? When absolutely the only thought on your mind is “water, water, water.” It’s miserable. Recently, my heart was painfully dehydrated from insufficient intake of Christian fellowship. My heart was weak and hurting. I was miserable.

My Powerade? A road trip to Lubbock, Texas--where just over a year ago I left many precious friends with whom I have walked through some of life’s greatest joys and trials. Driving into the gorgeous West Texas sunset, I asked the Lord to guide conversations during my visit over the next three days—to bring me/others encouragement and Himself glory.

I was not prepared for the unique way in which the Lord would work to refresh my spirit. The contents of hearts were spilled on breezy front porch steps, beside a sparkling pool, on a leather couch, across a dinner table, in the front seat of a car, in the Discount Tire lobby, and in Cracker Barrel over mounds of maple-syrup-drenched pancakes.

Vulnerability with others isn’t easy. It can be uncomfortable, embarrassing, and humbling. Taking off our mask and allowing someone to see the raw us--our tears and snotty noses, our insecurities and hurts, our addictions and besetting sins, our fears and “why God” questions--that’s hard. But that’s exactly what the body of Christ is called to--transparency. I’ve never experience such mutual transparency as I did on this recent trip. Arriving at such a level of trust and intimacy in a relationship takes time, but the rewards are many.

Driving back to Dallas, reflecting on my trip, I couldn't help but feel as though some sort of miracle had just transpired. Mutual transparency quenched my thirsting heart.

1) In sharing, my weaknesses, struggles, and sin come to light. As I pour out the contents of my heart, lies separate themselves from truth, much like fat rising to the surface of broth. Although humbling, this is cleansing and healing (James 5:16). In sharing these sensitive areas of our lives with godly friends, we invite comfort, counsel, accountability, and intercessory prayer.

2) In listening, my focus suddenly shifts from self to others. My own sorrow shrinks as my friend’s burdens reach my ears and heart. The “woe is me” track (that’s been playing for weeks on repeat in my head) is interrupted and replaced with compassion for my hurting friend. I am suddenly preoccupied with ministering instead of being ministered to.

Having both shared and listened, we have mutually opened our hearts to each other--we have shared our burdens. My weight is no longer as heavy, because my friend is helping carry the load (Gal. 6:2). In knowing each others’ personal details, we are equipped to pray specifically and find ways to serve one another. (I Thes. 5:14)

3) Although God is at constantly work in my own life, it’s oft times easier to see this evidenced in a friend’s life. Like looking in a mirror, I identify with her root issues (lack of trust, faith, love, etc.). I am encouraged to know I am not alone in my struggles; I am strengthened with testimonies of how the Lord is working in/thru her weaknesses (II Cor. 1:3). Witnessing this miracle reminds me that our good and sovereign God is indeed sanctifying her (and me) and bringing Himself glory through every detail of our lives.

Being transparent requires humility. We must let down the pseudo walls of perfection we’ve erected and reveal the real us. Much like a wound (our sin), the shirt sleeve must first be rolled up and the bandage removed before a wound can be analyzed, cleansed, and treated. There’s a place for the bandage--we need not walk around revealing our deep wounds to the world. But there is a place (need!) for intimacy in the body of Christ if we long for sanctification. The cleansing may bring pain, but the end is healing--encouragement, hope, strength, and a deepened friendship.

-Karyn Ballmann

*Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working. James 5:16
**Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ. Gal. 6:2
***Admonish the idle, encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with them all.
****Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.” II Cor. 1:3-4