Scattered

For the past few weeks when I've sat down to blog I just haven't been able to write anything. I let writing slide because I just couldn't figure out quite what to say. Even now I fear this is going to come out a scattered discombobulated ramble.


I started a new job a month ago and I've felt a bit in the depths of despair. I know I am being a bit dramatic, but I've never found a job so extremely overwhelming. Before my interview I read Psalm 139 and Jeremiah 29:11. As I went into the interview I wanted to have in mind that it is God who directs my path. What I didn't expect, less than a week into the job, was to feel so completely out of my element. I constantly feel like a fish out of water. I tell myself it will get better, but it's a tough and awkward training period.


I've found myself debating, do I stay, do I find a new job, what do I do? I dislike it so much. I've found myself asking God if He provided me with this job, if it's really where He wants to be. But, what has really stood out to me these past four weeks is that I need daily to rely on God to get through each day. As much as I struggle to adjust to this new job and the discomfort and doubt I face as I learn so many new things and constantly forget stuff and make mistakes sending me through a roller coaster of emotions daily, what I know is that God is using this to draw me closer to Him. He's teaching me so much about turning to Him and seeking His face.


I've been reading in Psalms almost every day and drawing all my strength from God and His words. I am not the first nor will I be the last to go through a time of discouragement. I am so grateful the Lord has given His word to us for each season of our lives.


These verses have been especially encouraging to me in the last few weeks.

Psalm 28:7 “The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and I am helped. My heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to him in song.”

Psalm 142:1-5 A maskil of David. When he was in the cave. A prayer. “I cry aloud to the LORD; I lift up my voice to the LORD for mercy. I pour out my complaint before him; before him I tell my trouble. When my spirit grows faint within me, it is you who know my way. In the path where I walk men have hidden a snare for me. Look to my right and see; no one is concerned for me. I have no refuge; no one cares for my life. I cry to you, O LORD; I say, "You are my refuge, my portion in the land of the living."

Psalm 143:8 “Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul.”

Psalm 91:1-16

 1 “He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High 

       will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.

 2 I will say of the LORD, "He is my refuge and my fortress, 

       my God, in whom I trust."

 3 Surely he will save you from the fowler's snare 

       and from the deadly pestilence.

 4 He will cover you with his feathers, 

       and under his wings you will find refuge; 

       his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.

 5 You will not fear the terror of night, 

       nor the arrow that flies by day,

 6 nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness, 

       nor the plague that destroys at midday.

 7 A thousand may fall at your side, 

       ten thousand at your right hand, 

       but it will not come near you.

 8 You will only observe with your eyes 

       and see the punishment of the wicked.

 9 If you make the Most High your dwelling— 

       even the LORD, who is my refuge-

 10 then no harm will befall you, 

       no disaster will come near your tent.

 11 For he will command his angels concerning you 

       to guard you in all your ways;

 12 they will lift you up in their hands, 

       so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.

 13 You will tread upon the lion and the cobra; 

       you will trample the great lion and the serpent.

 14 "Because he loves me," says the LORD, "I will rescue him; 

       I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.

 15 He will call upon me, and I will answer him; 

       I will be with him in trouble, 

       I will deliver him and honor him.

 16 With long life will I satisfy him 

       and show him my salvation."

Psalm 139:17-18 “How precious to me are your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them! Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand. When I awake, I am still with you.”

May you find your encouragement in the Lord each and every day! God's rich blessings upon you.


Naomi