Why is it that as we grow older, it becomes harder and harder to trust God? I have been mulling over that question all week now, and my original idea was that we lose our imaginations as we focus too much on reality, and therefore don’t believe in the impossible anymore. However, I’m just about the most imaginative person in the world— just as my imaginary friends— so I couldn’t justify this result.
As I’ve thought about this more I’ve realized that even though I do have a fantasy world in my mind, I still live in a world where we’re expected to be practical. When I look at the lives of children I can see that trusting for God’s provision comes so natural to them, because they don’t live a practical life. I was reminded of this as I thought back to Vacation Bible School (VBS) a few years back when we were learning about Proverbs 3:5-6—which now happen to be my favorite verses— “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct your paths”. During this week one of the girls in my class told me that trusting God is easy, because He always comes through.
This week I had a hard time believing that. I have been looking for a summer job since late February, having applied to over fifteen different nanny jobs already in hopes of finding a full time position. However, I’ve only heard back from one person so far and it was an immediate no based on my age. I was offered a job watching one of my absolute favorite boys from my old workplace, but as they only needed 16 hours of work I had to consider if it was worth it or try to hold out. Everything in me wanted to take the job, since I knew I loved the boys and the parents and it would still be a job.
I was offered the job two weeks ago, and the mother wanted an answer this week. As I prayed I realized how easy it was to settle for something that is tangible now, especially when there’s no hope of something better in the future. But I’m not one to settle. So I did the hardest thing imaginable to me, I told her no. As the tears came with my surrender of holding onto control of my life, I realized that God does have something wonderful planned for me. In letting go I gave everything over to God; although it was hard, I was acknowledging God and trusting that He will direct my paths.
In the Bible Jesus declares that the Kingdom of Heaven belongs to those who have faith like a child— those who trust in the Lord with all their hearts. What does your life look like now? Are you holding onto something to have control of your life, or are you surrendering everything and letting Him lead? When the future has a bend in the road, the only thing left to do is trust that God will provide, because He always comes through.