Something that I have been thinking about lately is the concept of how detrimental it is to be a loner in life and try to skate through without any significant relationships. I think that all of you understand what I am saying, but in case you don’t let me explain. How many of us have relationships in our lives, whether they be friendships, work relation, or family, that we would consider to be significant, but we really have no idea why? Is it simply that they are important to us because they have to be, or we enjoy the same things, or we have a good time together, or is it because those relationships have gotten beyond the superficial and have dug down deep into the very depth of our souls? For many of us, if not all of us, including myself, I am afraid that the most significant, important relationships in our lives fall very short of what they could be – how God designed them to be. Now, let me set something straight. My concept of a loner and your concept may be completely different; so let me explain myself. My concept is simply of a person who has not given themselves completely over to any relationship. Though they may or may not be surrounded by friendships or family or whatever, they live in isolation simply because no one knows who they are. They keep people outside and at times push them away, never letting anyone come inside to see how God has decorated the interior of their heart.
I am not saying that we ought to go around baring our souls and walking around naked all the time, but it is essential for us to sometimes strip down and take the plunge into Relationship Lake that is filled with honesty, integrity, love, and acceptance. I know that this can be one of the most difficult things to do in life. I mean, who wants to take off their layers of work, and weather, and sports, and lies, and hypocrisy, and politics, and war, and actually stand naked before someone in their fear, and sin, and love, and faith, and dreams, and desires. Oh, wait, that actually sounds like a pretty good idea doesn’t it? Let’s be honest, all of us are looking to know and to be known by the people around us. I can’t help but think of Jesus and the disciples as an example for us all. What Jesus saw in those guys is beyond me, but you can tell as you read the Scriptures that these guys were honest and real. They had their faults and struggles but they were comfortable enough with Christ to bare themselves before Him and Christ accepted them for who they were. Sure, He wanted to see them grow, and over time they did grow and mature in their faith, but He had called them long before that took place. We too ought to be as Christ was. Accepting of those around us for who they are as well as being willing to invite people into our lives, as Christ did, and letting them see us for who we really are.
As I close I can’t help but think of two examples that accurately describe what I am trying to say. The first is a line from the chorus of Keith Urban’s song “Everybody.” This says it very well and very simply, “Everybody needs somebody sometimes.” The second is from the movie “The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers.” The movie closes with Frodo and Sam walking down a path through some woods on their way to Mordor; they are wondering together what it would be like to have people read about their adventures and what they would say of them. As they are walking and talking Frodo turns around to look at Sam and says, “Frodo wouldn’t have made it far without Sam.” Friends, we all need somebody sometimes because in the end we can’t make it far without the help of those around us. Don’t let yourself be a loner. Be willing to take the plunge into an honest and real relationship. It may be difficult, but you’ll never regret doing it.
by Justin Kantonen
originally posted March 2008
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