Lack of Friends?

This last week and a half, I've had the blessing of seeing many different people whom I enjoy fellowshipping with. I've realized I am incredibly blessed to be in a church where I feel at home, and an area where people care about me and make sure I'm included in their lives. In this realization, it also came to my attention, I have become spoiled in a sense because of this. I've forgotten what it's like to not have close friends, or a support group around me. There was a time in my life when I was geographically surrounded by Christians, but I was intensely lonely, because I didn't have any companions. I remember nightly, literally crying to God for intimate fellowship, where I could be me, and just fit. All praise to God, after about a year of praying for this, He moved me twice, and answered my prayer. 

In this last week and a half though, I've been reminded of many different individuals, in many different places, who are in the place still, of crying out to God for companions. As humans we have an intense desire for friendship. And I've been challenged, because I know it's not always going to work for others in the way God worked it for me. As in, "just move until you find a group of people whom you fit with." Whereas God does do this from time to time, as I am a testament to, I believe it's more a statement of where a lot of local churches are failing. And to be blunt, I'm not seeing this in just one geographical area or one local congregation. But in the Church as a whole around the country. 

So what's happening? Why aren't people feeling connected with others? Why are friends so hard to make at church?

Could it be because we're selfish? 

Possibly, looking out for only our own interests and not the interests of others? 

Or per chance, it's because we are pridefully counting ourselves as more significant than others?

Maybe it's just, we don't feel we have time.

Or we already have too much plugged into us, taking our energy.

For the last few weeks, I've been challenged repeatedly by the Holy Spirit, to grow in this area. And honestly, it's hard. But from my own experience, I know it is far harder to be the one crying every night to God for companionship. It doesn't take much to show interest in others lives.

What is the solution? Philippians 2:1-8 and Romans 15:1-7 have a bit to say about this.

Here's the passage from Philippians:

2 So if there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort from love, any participation in the Spirit, any affection and sympathy, 2  complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind. 3 Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. 4 Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. 5  Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, 6 who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, 7 but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. 8 And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.

And from Romans:

We who are strong have an obligation to bear with the failings of the weak, and not to please ourselves. 2 Let each of us please his neighbor for his good, to build him up. 3 For Christ did not please himself, but as it is written, “The reproaches of those who reproached you fell on me.” 4 For whatever was written in former days was written for our instruction, that through endurance and through the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope. 5 May the God of endurance and encouragement grant you to live in such harmony with one another, in accord with Christ Jesus, 6 that together you may with one voice glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. 7 Therefore welcome one another as Christ has welcomed you, for the glory of God.

As the Holy Spirit has been at work in my heart, convicting me to be more aware and action oriented in this area of life, these verses have been excellent to read repeatedly. I would encourage you, if you are doing well in putting others before yourself, well done! And if not, please do not grow discouraged, but see this as an encouragement towards growth. 

What can we do to help each other?