Have you ever done something so terrible that you didn’t think God or anybody else would ever be able to forgive you? This is some thing I have been struggling with for the past couple of months. God convicted me of some things that I was doing at work that were not right. When I finally realized they were wrong, I stopped doing them, but I really didn’t think of them as sin. God finally made me realize that it was sin and I had to confess these things to Him and to my bosses at work. That was one of the hardest things I have ever done because my confession not only affected me, but also my coworkers. There were consequences for everyone and many changes have been made where I work.
When I first confessed these sins to God, I didn’t think He could ever forgive me. I thought I had to do something to help make up for my sin. I finally realized that I couldn’t do enough good works to make up for them or pay the penalty for my own sins. It was like I was putting myself above God by saying that God couldn’t forgive me. He says in the Bible that all we have to do is come to Him in repentance and He will forgive our sins. Jesus’ death on the cross paid the penalty for our sins. Some verses that have really come alive for me in all of this are:
Psalm 103:12 “As far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our
transgressions from us.”
Isaiah 38:17 “Indeed it was for my own peace that I had great bitterness; but You have lovingly delivered my soul from the pit of corruption, for You have cast all my sins behind Your back.”
Micah 7:19 “He will again have compassion on us, and will subdue our iniquities. You will cast all our sins into the depths of the sea.”
Isaiah 43:25 “I, even I, am He who blots out your transgressions for My own sake; and I will not remember your sins.”
Colossians 1:21-22 “And you, who once were alienated and enemies in your mind by wicked works, yet now He has reconciled in the body of His flesh through death, to present you holy, and blameless, and above reproach in His sight.”
I now know that God has placed my sins behind His back and remembers them no more. When I start to feel guilty about past sins that I have already confessed to Him and He has forgiven, I have to remember that the guilt comes from Satan because he does not want us to live a victorious life. He would rather see us defeated, but we can have victory in Christ.
A quote my mom found for me when I was dealing with all of this says, “The root of the word integrity is integer, meaning something whole and undivided. Integrity means never having anything to hide. Doing so requires inviting God to search our innermost parts as we commit to living lives of integrity. Because ultimately what matters most is not how well we manage what others think of us, but who we are on the inside.” This is how I now want to live my life. I want people to be able to look at me and see a person of
integrity and not one of someone trying to hide something or trying to please others.
I have found such freedom in God’s forgiveness and I urge any of you who are dealing with un-confessed sin or feelings of un-forgiveness to bring all of that before God. He will forgive you and forget your sins. He will also help you through any of the consequences those sins may have caused. He loves you very much and wants you to live in freedom and victory.
by Melina Kantonen
originally posted April 2008
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