Eager

A couple of months ago, the Lord struck with the reality of His soon-coming return. Before this revelation, I knew in my head that Jesus was going to come back for believers someday; but my heart wasn't quite ready for it. However, He's been at work in me and I am so excited for His return! "You can have all this world, just give me Jesus!"

But sometimes, I wonder if I'm too eager. Can you be too eager for Jesus to return? Maybe I'm not necessarily too eager for His return - but too eager to give up the work that He has given us while we're here on earth. I am looking forward to His return so much, it's easy for me take my eyes of the ministry and reason He has me here; the reason He hasn't come back yet (2 Peter 3:9). I was encouraged by the words of Paul to the Philippian church this last week:

"For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain. But if I am to live on in the flesh, this will mean fruitful labor for me; and I do not know which to choose. But I am hard-pressed from both directions, having the desire to depart and be with Christ, for that is very much better; yet to remain on in the flesh is more necessary for your sake." (Philippians 1:21-24)

I'm struggling to balance things as Paul did . . . to so desire to be with the Lord, to see Him coming in His glory - and yet diligently being about the work that He has called me to. I pray that I will be eagerly awaiting His return, yet making the most of the opportunities that He has given me (Ephesians 5:15-16).

Jesus according to John by Tim

Hanging on a tree, You let out a sigh;"Tetelestai."
Taking the punishment for all sin, You bleed. You die.
Three days You lay dead in the grave.
On Sunday morning, You walk out of Joseph's cave.
Behind locked doors, seeing the marks on Your hands.
Now they tell Your story in all of the lands.
The hole in Your side became the proof.
Your resurrection is not a spoof.
Some years before, the Word became flesh.
Bringing grace and truth, You make rotten lives fresh.
Into darkness, You shine light.
Our broken relationship has been made right.
This is the only thing I need to know.
Crimson stains washed white as snow.
I've got a reason to sing and dance.
You have given me a second chance.
No more sorrow, no more shame.
I will never ever, forever, be the same.

Death to Life

And you were dead in the trespasses and sins in which you once walked, following the course of this world, following the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that is now at work in the sons of disobedience- among whom we all once lived in the passions of our flesh, carrying out the desires of the body and the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, like the rest of mankind. But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ-by grace you have been saved- and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. Ephesians 2:1-8

I've been thinking the past few days about these verses. Not in super specific detail, more so in the general ideas within them, especially verses 1, 4, and 5. We were all dead in our trespasses and sin, spiritually dead, not just barely breathing, but wholly dead, and God, because of His love for us made us alive together with Christ. He gave us spiritual life.

I just began working for a man who has cancer. He is an older gentleman who can't really do a lot of things for himself as his body is weak and wracked with pain; so he needs me to do a lot of things for him. Now, I began thinking about these verses the other day and then they were talked about at a confirmation retreat we just had out here, and so they are just kind of on the forefront of my mind. Forefront, not forehead, mind you, though that might be a good place to put them in order to keep them on my mind, literally and figuratively. :) At first I kind of thought that these verses were really well compared to my situation with this older gentleman, but such is not really the case. To some degree they can be compared to other aspects of the Christian faith but not with this one. We can't do anything for ourselves when it comes to being made spiritually alive.

Like Jesus told Nicodemus, we need to be born again. We have no spiritual life outside of Christ and we cannot be brought into Christ without God making us alive together with Him. We are not just sick and needing help to do certain things. No, we are dead and lying in the grave. Nails in the coffin and dirt piled on is how we are in relation to God before He breathes His new life into us. Why does he do this? Not because we are super good, but because He loves us. He loves us. We who are dead and filled with sin and things that anger and upset God are loved by God enough to be forgiven of our sin and brought into a right relationship with Him in which He is then able to shower us in His immeasurable riches of grace and kindness. Does this make sense to me? Nah, it really doesn't, but to some degree I have come to experience it and I am truly grateful for it.

Caught Up in Plans

This last weekend, our youth group took a trip to Red Lodge, Montana. Being the wife of the youth director, I was put in charge of perhaps one of the most important aspects of our weekend away: the food. Six teenage boys and two grown men love to eat; especially when they have been skiing or snowboarding down mountains all day long. So, I did my best to be prepared for their growling stomachs. Fixings for chocolate chip cookies and lasagna, fruit, veggies, snacks of all kinds, hot chocolate mix . . . Over and over I went through the lists in my mind. Have I forgotten anything?

After a few last hectic moments of throwing everything together and double-checking everything on Friday morning, I was ready to go. Jordan and I loaded up our car, drove up to church, and I began unloading everything into the suburban. In my haste and excitement, however, I forgot a critical aspect to our weekend . . . and didn't realize it until hours and miles away from Beulah, ND. No, it wasn't a box of cereal or bag of chips, or even the cottage cheese for the lasagna. It was our bag; the bag that contained nearly everything both Jordan and I needed for that weekend. Boy, did I feel lower than dirt when that realization struck.

As I pondered the whole situation, I couldn't help but think of Mary and Martha. A story I'm sure you're familiar with; but, for kicks and giggles, here it is as a fresh reminder for you:

"Now as they were traveling along, He entered a village; and a woman named Martha welcomed Him into her home. She had a sister called Mary, who was seated at the Lord's feet, listening to His word. But Martha was distracted with all her preparations; and she came up to Him and said, 'Lord, do You not care that my sister has left me to do all the serving alone? Then tell her to help me.' But the Lord answered and said to her, 'Martha, Martha, you are worried and bothered about so many things; but only one thing is necessary, for Mary has chosen the good part, which shall not be taken away from her.'" (Luke 10:38-42)

It's so easy for us to get caught up in things, isn't it? Even good things: like making sure six teenage boys and two grown men have enough to eat for the weekend or even better, serving the Lord through teaching Sunday School, youth group, visiting the elderly . . . But sometimes, our eyes get off focus, don't they? We forget the reason that we are serving; the reason the Lord deserves our service. Sometimes, we've just got to set it all aside - literally and substantially - and listen to the Lord. Simply sit in His presence, listening to His Word.

Have you done that lately? What about today? Marting Luther once said: "Tomorrow I plan to work from early until late. In fact, I have so much to do that I shall spend the first three hours in prayer." May we be found faithfully sitting at our Savior's feet, soaking in all that He has to say to us; for it is truly what is good.

Psalm 16

"The LORD is my chosen portion and my cup; You hold my lot. The lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; indeed, I have a beautiful inheritance. I bless the LORD who gives me counsel; in the night also my heart instructs me. I have set the LORD always before me; because He is at my right hand, I shall not be shaken. Therefore my heart is glad, and my whole being rejoices; my flesh also dwells secure. For You will not abandon my soul to Sheol, or let Your holy one see corruption. You make known to me the path of life; in Your presence there is fullness of joy; at Your right hand are pleasures forevermore" --Psalm 16:5-11

Do you ever feel like you have no idea where your life is heading? It always seems that when I make plans for my future, God comes in and completely changes them. However, these verses tell us that God will lead and guide us to where He is going to use us the most. He will make known to us where He wants us-- sometimes by completely closing doors but also by changing our desires.

Psalm 37:23 says, "The steps of a man are established by the LORD, when he delights in His way". When we are delighting ourselves in God, He delights in showering us with blessings. What a crazy thought!

But what about when we're lead into situations and circumstances that we don't like? What about when we walk through the valleys of life? I believe during these times we can say what David said, "I have a beautiful inheritance". Whatever situation you find yourself in today, if you are a follower of our Lord, Jesus Christ, you can confidently say that you have a beautiful inheritance awaiting you in heaven!

I hope these verses have encouraged you as much as they have changed me this week. Look to the Lord, He is willing and desiring to direct your paths.

The Light Shines

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was in the beginning with God. All things were made through him, and without him was not any thing made that was made. In him was life, and the life was the light of men. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.
(John 1:1-5 ESV)

There are so many things that could be said about this text. Today, one thing that really hit me is the last phrase ... "The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it."

Darkness is a word often used to depict evil, suffering, danger, and that which is not from God. When the Word (God) is present, there is light in the darkness. When the darkness has light shined into it, the Word (God) is not overcome.

As I go through life, months fly by, weeks whisk away, days disappear, and hours are like the blink of an eye. It doesn't matter how I think I will spend my days, life always happens. As the brilliance of a beautiful day turns to dreariness and dread, only one thing can withstand the darkness.

In the good times and bad, open up the Word and rely on Dad.

Does Jesus want to spit me out of His mouth?

I'm reading "Crazy Love" by Francis Chan and feeling incredibly challenged by it. My mind is so full of so many different thoughts, it's hard to sort it all out into a coherent thought flow, so bear with me. I just started going to a Bible study where we are reading the book and then discussing it with one another. This week we covered chapter 4 "Profile of the Lukewarm." Ouch. Talk about uncomfortable. It's hard to examine yourself that closely, to take a good look at the person you are. It's difficult to compare yourself to this list of the lukewarm. It's not easy to test your faith. When we are really honest with ourselves we find that we fall short. We come up lacking. I have so so so much growing in the Lord to do. There is so much change that needs to happen in my life. It's humbling and hard to admit.

But, the question is am I lukewarm? Does Jesus want to spit me out of His mouth?

Revelation 3: 16 "So, because you are lukewarm—neither hot nor cold—I am about to spit you out of my mouth."

As I drove home from Bible Study DC Talk's Jesus Freak was playing on the radio. The phrase "you can't hide the truth" jumped out at me.

"What will people think
When they hear that I'm a Jesus freak
What will people do when they find that it's true
I don't really care if they label me a Jesus freak
There ain't no disguising the truth
ain't no disguising the truth, no I ain't hiding the truth"

Matthew 5:
¹³ “You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled underfoot.
¹⁴ “You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. ¹⁵ Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. ¹⁶ In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven."

Salt, if it loses it saltiness is useless. You can't hide a city on a hill. So let your light shine.

If you are a true Christian the evidence will be there. You'll be on fire, you'll be salty, there won't be any hiding the light, there won't be any disguising the truth.

I would encourage you to take time this week to examine your faith. Have you become complacent in your walk with the Lord? Are there things in your life that you have placed before Him? Where does your time and money go? Are you more worried about what people think than what the Lord does? Do you love your enemy more than yourself? Are you putting on a show? Do you bear fruit?

Are you a city on a hill that shines before men?

Be Blessed,
Naomi

p.s. Here's a blog post along the same lines that has Chan's list of the profile of the lukewarm: http://blakeunfettered.wordpress.com/2009/10/07/profile-of-the-lukewarm-ch-4-of-crazy-love/

And a pretty good video on the topic of Lukewarm Christians.

Then God ordered me, “Start all over: Love your wife again, your wife who’s in bed with her latest boyfriend, your cheating wife. Love her the way I, God, love the Israelite people, even as they flirt and party with every god that takes their fancy.” I did it. I paid good money to get her back. It cost me the price of a slave. Then I told her, “From now on you’re living with me. No more whoring, no more sleeping around. You’re living with me and I’m living with you.” Hosea 3:1-3 The Message

I love this portion of Scripture. Actually I love the whole book of Hosea, but especially these three verses in the context of the first three chapters. If you don't really know the history I would encourage you to look it up fully sometime because it is so good, but here is just a little rundown. Hosea, the prophet of God, was told by God to go and take a whore to be his wife; so he did, and then he was told to name his children certain things all to be examples to the Israelite people of how God was looking at them at this certain point in history. As was common in the Prophetic book it was full of God's judgment and discipline followed by His everlasting mercy, and this book is no different. Verses 1-3 of chapter 3 are a portion of God's mercy and love toward His straying and adulterous people. I don't know why I like it so much. Maybe it's because it's so graphic and it makes sense in my head because the culture we are in is so full of adultery and I know the adultery of my own heart towards God.

I think that my favorite part is where Hosea goes out and does what God told him to do and he has to do it by paying a price. He doesn't just go out and find her, it costs him something. It's such a clear picture of God loving His people. It cost Hosea the price of a slave to get his adulterous wife back, and it cost God the price of His Son to get His adulterous people back.

The words Hosea says to His wife are basically the same words, the same message anyway, that God gives to us, which is something like this, "You are mine now. Stop living in your sinful ways. I will be your God and you will be my people." It makes me think of the verse that says, "...You were bought with a price. So glorify God with your body." I Cor. 6:20 ESV

Isn't our God good?

What Do I Know

On Saturday night, our congregation lost another dear member to cancer. It seems like death and cancer are flourishing like dandelions in June lately. This man had been diagnosed with cancer about a year and a half ago. For awhile, he seemed to be doing really well; and part of me thought that he would pull through just fine, that the Lord wouldn't take him. But the Lord's thoughts and plans are so different than ours.

Through this recent death, I was reminded of the shortness of life: "'All flesh is grass, and all its loveliness is like the flower of the field. The grass withers, the flower fades, when the breath of the LORD blows upon it; surely the people are grass.'" (Isaiah 40:6-7)

I was convicted yet again to make the most of the time and opportunities the Lord gives to us. Within the last few weeks, this man from our congregation had been put on hospice. I thought that the least I could do was send a card, letting him and his wife know that they were both in my thoughts and prayers if I didn't make a visit. Saturday morning, as I enjoyed a long walk in the February thaw, I was nudged yet again to visit or send a card . . . but by Saturday night, it was already too late. Why didn't I do this when first prompted weeks before?

"Therefore be careful how you walk, no as unwise men, but as wise, making the most of your time, because the days are evil . . ." (Ephesians 5:15-16)

And still, I am encouraged to know that this dear man is no longer enduring any pain. He is cancer-free, pain-free, and rejoicing in the presence of Jesus our Messiah! What a glorious, fantastic place to be! Paul wrote to the Corinthians: "We are of good courage, I say, and prefer rather to be absent from the body and to be at home with the Lord" (2 Corinthians 5:8). And to the Philippians that: "To live is Christ, to die is gain" (Philippians 1:21).

Sara Groves sings it well: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5ZSg5oLBv7A

We don't know why the Lord chooses to call someone home when He does. We don't know why He chooses to take them in the ways that He does. We don't know much at all. But, as Sara Groves sang, what we do know - being with the Lord - is indeed very good.

Lessons from the Super Bowl

With the Super Bowl being last weekend, I wanted to try to work it into here somehow. I think I can do this. I'm going to draw from a commercial, the Volkswagen one with the kid dressed up as Darth Vader. What a great idea, combining two of my favorite things into one - the Super Bowl and Star Wars. Props to Volkswagen. You can see the commercial here.

The kid has incredible faith. He believes that he can - and keeps trying to - use the force to move things, start things, etc. He tries without success until, finally, he uses it on his dad's car. Dad uses his remote starter, and the kid is astonished; he can't believe that he actually used the force and started the car.

So how does that work into anything meaningful to us? First, the kid has faith. Misguided faith, to be sure, but faith nonetheless. We need to have faith like this kid - not faith in the force necessarily, but continuous faith in God, regardless of the way things have been going lately. Second, God works in ways we can't understand. Much as the kid didn't know why the car turned on, we don't necessarily know why God answers some prayers just how we hope, and others he answers in a more roundabout way; a way we don't understand.

So to sum it up, the commercial is pretty funny. Underlying that, we can take from the commercial the faith the kid has in the force - we need to have that faith in God, and remember that while sometimes he works in ways we can't understand, he is always working for us.

In other news, I wrote a couple weeks ago about the basketball player from Perham who collapsed during a basketball game. He is doing quite a bit better. Yesterday he had another heart surgery but it went well. He is back on the ventilator but it sounds as though he'll be back off fairly soon, and he has even sat up with some help and is able to communicate some. Keep the prayers coming; he still needs our support. God is definitely working a miracle here!

Then and Now

I got an idea yesterday.

Knowing that I would be writing this blog today, I planned on bringing with me my journal from the winter of 2008. I had an inkling that the words I wrote during the second week of February during my ski bumming experience would in some way connect and correlate with reality today. So, while eating lunch with a special someone in the "Multi-cultural Kitchen" at school, we read what I wrote.

Here's what I read ...

2/10/2008
" ... It's snowing again so I'm getting up early to go up to the hill & give'er. I read the Beatitudes this morning but I didn't take much time to think about it or pray about it much. This week I will be trying to focus more on my prayer habits and learning new things and growing in some way."

This was intriguing to say the least. At eight o'clock this morning I turned in a group project covering the first six verses of Matthew chapter 5 - the beginning of the Beatitudes. For the past two months I have once again been focusing on my prayer habits. When this semester started, I was blown away by all the new things I have been learning and I am continually pumped about growing. Most of this growth is spiritual, emotional, or relational in nature, unfortunately little growth is happening with hair follicles.

After reading from the exact date, three years ago, I opted to read from the Thursday before. Once again, stars aligned, dots connected, and the rooster crowed again.

2/7/2008 (Day 40)
"Another really fun day of skiing. I rode the gondi w/ Brady the patroller & he told me that Poacher's just got ski cut and was open. I was the first one there & it was knee deep. Very fun run. I met up w/ Ethan & skied w/ him and Eirik, Scott, and Kate. We got into White Wall just after it opened - it was great snow. We had a great day rippin around. I left them & skied Truth off of Terminator Peak - was an awesome run - I was like 3rd or 4th into that. Had an amazing time enjoying God's creation - He is blessing me so much this winter. This morning I read about prayer again and how it needs to be me seeking God & what God wants me to do for Him rather than me asking God to do things for me. I know God is really pushing me to spend more time in prayer to be in conversation w/ Him to grow in my relationship w/ Him."

Simply speaking, this is where I'm at again today. While I haven't skied forty days this winter, I have been blessed so much by God. I still see that prayer needs to be me seeking God and what he wants me to do for Him. Today, the words that come to mind are solitude and listening. To know what God wants me to do for Him, I need to listen. Prayer is a conversation with God. As I spend time talking to God and listening to Him in solitude, I grow closer to Him.

I'm not claiming to be a prophet, but in three more years I will say something similar to this again. My geographic location may change, but my spiritual location will be the same. As a human, humbly coming before God, quietly listening to Him, sharing my honest feelings, and doing this thing we call "prayer" it will be of the utmost importance to remember where I've been and look forward to where I'm going.

During February of 2008, I saw in front of me was saw snowy mountains, skiing, new friends, long beards, and a growing faith. During February of 2001, I see snowy flat lands, school, new friends, long beards, and a growing faith. The space between has been filled with adventure, dreams coming true, stress, physical and emotional pain, laughter, memories, and a whole lot of God's grace. If I've learned one thing in three years it is this:

God never ever ever changes. The love He has for every human is consistent. If I spend an hour with Him or 5 minutes, He loves me the same. If I eat pietistic pie, walk around with a halo over my head, and do innumerable good things, God loves. If I spit in someone's face, lie to my friends, steal, kill, and destroy, God loves. Unconditionally loving unconditionally is God's favorite thing to do.

Now, that's better than hearing it snowed a foot last night ...

Awestruck

We were tired and exhausted, we portaged several times in search of a open camp site in the Boundary Waters and after several hours we still hadn’t found one. It grew cold and dark on us. In that darkness, suddenly, I looked up and was awestruck. In that moment I felt pure amazement. For the first time in my life I saw the Northern Lights. 

It didn’t matter that I was tired and cold, that I’d lost count of the number of portages that consisted of carry heavy bags and canoes, or that it was dark and we still hadn’t found a campsite. 

To look up into that night sky and behold the Northern Lights was awesome. Deserving of awe. It was unexpected and unlike anything I had seen before or since.  

Think of a moment when you’ve felt awe. Reflect on that feeling.

The pure awe I had when looking at the Northern Lights doesn’t even come close to the kind of awe I should have for God.

^{Hebrews 12: 28-29} says, "Therefore, since we are receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, let us be thankful, and so worship God acceptably with reverence and awe, for our “God is a consuming fire."

All too often I forget to be amazed by God. I forget His splendor. I forget His majesty. I forget His power. I forget His beauty. And He is amazing. He is splendid. He is majestic. He is powerful. He is so beautiful.

I want to be struck with awe at an Awesome God.

So awestruck that all I can be is in awe.

Always Ready

This past year has been a bit disheartening for me in regards to youth group and high school girls Bible study attendance and participation. After scattered attendees randomly on Monday nights during the fall semester, I sent out a facebook message asking my girls if they even wanted to continue with Bible study. From each and every one I got an eager response - but still, no one showed up.

In all honesty, I didn't know what to do. I felt maybe a little bit like Jeremiah did when he was sent to a people that wouldn't listen to him - "'You shall speak all these words to them, but they will not listen to you; and you shall call to them, but they will not answer you.'" (Jeremiah 7:27) Did I continue to prepare a lesson and have no one come? Or did I devote my Monday evenings to something else, like visits to the nursing home or a women's Bible study? I spent time in prayer, my heart didn't really feel "in it", and I honestly wanted to give up. So, in a way, I did. No more text message or facebook reminders about Bible study. No one darkened our door on Monday evenings --

that is, until tonight.

Two girls showed up for Bible study tonight. Two girls that I have enjoyed playing Dutch Blitz with in excess the past couple of days. Two girls that came with no text message or facebook reminders.

My response should have been one of immediate joy! Praise the Lord they came, right?! Yes - that should have been my reaction. But, in reality, my thought was, "Ah! I didn't think anyone would come, so I didn't prepare anything at all!" But, thankfully the Lord works and uses us in spite of our shortcomings and un-preparedness. Our conversation brought us to the subject of those who are disadvantaged, poor, homeless, and needy. The people group that the Lord has laid upon my heart so heavily this past year. Is God good or what?

I was reminded of something Pastor Rolf always told us during Bible School, something to the tune of: "Your testimony should change every day because the Lord should always be teaching you new things . . ." Peter encouraged his readers, to "sanctify Christ as Lord in your hearts, always being ready to make a defense to everyone who asks you to give an account for the hope that is in you . . ." (1 Peter 3:15) Though we might not have a typed, three page presentation or lecture ready in our pocket, we must be ready to share with others all that the Lord has accomplished in us and taught us because we cannot afford to waste opportunities that He gives to us. As Paul wrote to the Colossians, "Conduct yourselves with wisdom toward outsiders, making the most of the opportunities. Let your speech always be with grace, as though seasoned with salt, so that you will know how you should respond to each person." (Colossians 4:6)

Are you ready? Are you ready to share all that the Lord has done in your heart and in your life? I encourage you to be - because you never know who is going to show up on your doorstep, ready and eager to hear the word of the Lord.

"Required" reading

As a student studying in a Christian institution of higher education, sometimes I am "required" to read the Bible. I put the word required in quotation marks because I firmly believe that it is not the school, my professor, or even myself who has the agenda which calls for me to read a specific text at a particular time. Yes, the Sunday School answer applies in this situation.

God exists outside of the confines of time and he has an infinite amount of knowledge about infinity. Bringing these two aspects of God together, the Creator of the universe exists as the most knowledgeable and timeless author ever, ever, ever, ever ... ever. He has been writing, is currently writing, and will always be writing the most exciting, adventurous, painful, sorrowful, laughter filled, joyful, loving stories we refer to as our lives.

Today the sun is shining, wind is whipping, and the cold is cold. On days like today, I stare out the window observing the texture of the snow. In Minnesota, the angles and elevations don't equate to exciting skiing, but the glimpses I get of snow spark something inside my memory. Part of the story that God has been writing was foreshadowing the events that would take place in the library today.

As I was doing some "required" reading, my eyes scanned the pages of the book of Job like a barcode scanner at the grocery store. Sometimes you grab food from the shelf expecting to pay full price, but at the checkout, there's a beep and a bag and looking at the receipt you notice your savings of twelve cents! This puts a smile on my face. Before I read the book of Job, I had some preconceived notions. I was expecting doom and gloom, depression, lamenting, and a focus on Job's sorrow. As the beep took place and this reading was in the bag, a smile came across my face. The focus of this book is on who God is and how he relates to his people!

In Job 37:5-6 it says "God thunders wondrously with his voice; he does great things that we cannot comprehend. For to the snow he says, "Fall on the earth..." Reading this again for the fourth time puts the icing on the cake. Oh how is wish I knew this verse three years ago when I was a ski bum in Canada. Hold the phone. God, existing eternally in his infinite omniscience, knew that I would read this verse today. He knew this three years ago, amidst weeks of high pressure, rock-hard landings, and dull edges. My prayers were answered then and are being answered now.

Now I see what I did not once see.
My purpose in life was not to ski.
But to know God more fully.
In his Word I see his face.
Every day I receive his grace.
I am ready to run this race.

PASSION 2011 Registration Winner

I'm An Alien

Do you ever forget who you are? I know that I do...often. At least more often than I would like too. Now, I'm not saying that I forget who I am in this world. My name is Justin and all that jazz, I'm not losing my memory, at least in the physical sense. Sometimes I think I forget who I am in the spiritual sense though.

Tonight has been a long night. It's 3:21a.m. on the West Coast right now and I've been up all night. For much of the night I've been thinking about how much I want to go home and I don't mean back to MN, which is where I am originally from. I want to go home to my Father, to my Savior; to my King.

I went went to the Ministry Training Institute following my two years at AFLBS. I studied cross cultural missions and spent three months of my second semester in Mexico. While there I learned many things, but often during the night I would long to go home. I felt out of place. I didn't fit in. I didn't know the language, the customs, or the people. I longed for home and the familiarity of the things and people that I knew. Now, a missionary has the opportunity, and rightly so, to become familiar with the language, customs, and people, of another country, in the spiritual sense though I don't want that. As a believer I don't want to become familiar, as I once was with the customs, language, and ways of this world. To know what they are and acknowledge that they exist is important, but I don't want them to become a part my life. All too often I am afraid that they are and I have much to learn about the ways of God and the things that are important to Him and how to walk as a believer in this world, but those are the things that I long for and ultimately I long to go home.

Ephesians 2:19 says, "So then you are no longer strangers and aliens, but you are fellow citizens with the saints and members of the household of God." Now, the context there is about the Gentiles becoming partakers of what God had given to the Jewish people first, but the fact remains that we have been allowed into the family of God and citizens of his Kingdom and members of his household. How cool is that!

I never want to forget that but I often do. I wish things weren't what they are here, but reality says differently. Things are not as good as they will one day be for those who believe and I wish that many more would come to the knowledge of the truth.

I wept tonight. I want to go home. I don't feel at home. May it never again be that I do. May it never be that any of us do. We are not of this world. May we learn to walk as citizens of the Kingdom and Family that we now belong to.